Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Job listings that make me homicidal

Here's a little note from the "requirements" section of a job listing:

Please do not contact us until you have made yourself familiar with the magazine.

Okay. You know what? I send out 2-3 resumes each day, and every single one of them is for a job that I really think I would like. Some of them, I can't believe what a fantastic match I am for the described job, and I think, "Wow, these lucky people are going to plotz when they see my resume." One job, I sent my resume through a person I knew in the company, AND through the job-listing website, AND directly through the company's HR department. Another job, I was ASKED to submit for.

I do this all the time, and I almost NEVER get a response. Not even an email confirming that I applied for the job. I spend hours putting together the perfect cover-letter, highlighting the many ways in which my experience overlaps their desires. I'm pithy and amusing and my resume is eye-catching and solid. AND I HEAR NOTHING. Virtual tumbleweeds roll around in my inbox.

So for this guy to get all snippy about how I shouldn't even dirty HIS inbox until I've read, critiqued, digested, and basically mated with his publication... I mean, frig you, buddy. You let me know if you like my resume, and THEN I'll spend a couple hours paging thru your precious periodical. Mmmkay? Because for frig's sake, if I sat around mulling over every magazine that I apply to, I'd do nothing but mull. I'd be Martin Mull. I looked at your site, the mag looks great, and I'll cross the "getting to know you" bridge when and if I come to it.

I mean, really.


the beige one said...

would you be Richard Mulligan, though? Then you'd be talking serious shit.

Madfoot said...

I don't know, but I'm going to be Slappy White with you in a minute.

Starchild said...

the same thing happens to me all the time, but it's for jobs like cleaning dog poo and walking dogs at the ASPCA or dog daycare. really. so don't feel bad.